You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You ruined the universe
Randomize
