I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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