Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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