I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
