that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
