I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We got so high we made milksteak
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Randomize
