Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
