I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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