But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
