i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
