he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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