Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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