waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
