If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
