Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
