My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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