More tranny stories later!
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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