We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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