the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I have post one night stand depression
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
