Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
