Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
