How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My dad just said "fuck circus"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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