More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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