I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
My breasts were aching with rage.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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