Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
It's like God shit irony all over that family
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So much Jack, so little girl.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
