Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
