feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
well you can't waste a boner
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize
