Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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