I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
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