Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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