god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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