we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
