Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
