Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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