Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
