even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
