PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
