i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
false alarm, still single
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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