I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
