i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
