Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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