It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
