saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
