I can't breathe out the right side of my face
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
