good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
