C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
