You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize