Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
