Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
