If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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