my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
