People with herpes should wear stickers.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
