I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
